#sanji informs the entire groupchat about him breaking my hand and ussop refuses to set zoro up with anyone else ever

[babblingeccentric]

We go to lunch on the weekend and he's sad that the noodle place doesn't serve alcohol and he sits silently as I explain to him the intricate textiles of the tarim basin mummies and does not stop scowling until I mention that I used to sword fight as a martial art and he asks me if I want to come down to his place and spar a little in the backyard.

I agree and his place has a mattress on the floor (which I forgive) and absolutely no decorations (which I do not) and he hands me a bokken and I self effacingly say not to expect too much it's been a few years and I'm rusty. I'm assuming he's also going to use a bokken and it'll be a low key thing so we don't need to wear protective gear.

He comes back out with three bonafide genuine actual real sharp katana in scabbards and I'm going "UHHHHHHH"

He puts one between his teeth and I'm too busy laughing at him to put up my guard and he hits me square in the head. I'm fine I'm naturally thick skulled but I get my act together.

We fight. I hit him once the whole time and after three goes he breaks two of my fingers and then honorably makes his weirdly misogynistic sous chef roommate who he has lived with for five years despite obviously hating him drive us to urgent care (neither of us can drive)

There is not a second date but I see him again in the 18+ section of the local combination sci-fi-fantasy-kink convention a year later dressed as a leather boy and we are bros for the rest of the con (including watching him chug an entire bottle of tequila at the after-party). He texts me every time a spot opens up in classes at his dojo and I send him the link to the Livestream to watch me make my tournament debut when I finally get back into HEMA

....I want to spin the wheel

Sure! Ladies and gentlemen, I represent you our 25th player! Let's spin it..

Congratulations! You got Zoro! Thank you for participating! <33